So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
