For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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