the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize