Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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