so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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