i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
