there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
