i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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