Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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