i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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