You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
