ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
