I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
