Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
