with your own penis?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
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how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
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What changed your mind?
Being sober
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize