Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
