mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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