Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
