Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I think a kid would responsible me up
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
