Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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