can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
