First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
