needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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