Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
