The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
