It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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