his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize