i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
