im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
