do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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