Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
