bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize