official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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