why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
