I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
im six kinds of drunk right now
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
