i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
