I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
