I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
