When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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