My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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