sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
