honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm bleeding and have questions
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
