at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
