So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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