woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
