I never want to see another naked old woman again.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
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Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
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I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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