i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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