i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Randomize
