So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize