thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Found the puke drawer
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
