Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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