My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
