Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
