Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
