I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
