remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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