She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
