Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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