Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
