is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
