We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
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he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
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Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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