it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
