you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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