She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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