I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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